What words do you associate with masculinity?
For better or worse, stereotypical words like “courage” and “strength” and “power” come to mind.
The word “vulnerability” usually doesn’t make the list. And that’s because vulnerability can feel like the antithesis of masculinity. After all, aren’t vulnerable people meek, weak and powerless?
The truth is, it takes courage to be vulnerable. Being your true self – and really showing up – requires strength. And when you are true and vulnerable with others, you operate from a position of power.
As men, most of us have a hard time being vulnerable.
We’re not taught to share our feelings or to let down our guard. When we cry, wet get scolded or teased. Through conditioning, we learn to be guarded.
I’ve recently made a habit of listening to straight guys at the gym. Even among close friends, their conversations rarely scratch the surface. There are discussions about cars, work, sports and hot women. I don’t hear discussions about feelings, mental health, challenges, insecurities, struggles or feelings of inadequacy. They talk a lot, but without really saying anything at all.
These men are humans; it goes without saying that they do have feelings and struggles and insecurities just like everyone else. But without a place or permission or even the ability to share them, they keep those feelings and struggles and insecurities inside themselves. And I can’t help but think that these men – and, undoubtably the people around them – suffer needlessly and painfully as a result.
As a gay man, I recognize that I’m a bit privileged when it comes to vulnerability. There is a different set of rules for us; we’re given more freedom by society and culture to explore things considered feminine. We can cry, laugh and express ourselves more fully – and often feel freer to move between male and female energies and characteristics. This isn’t to say that vulnerability is easy for gay men. But it is easier.
In my opinion, our ability to embody both masculine and feminine traits is a great gift – and it allows us to demonstrate a different model of “being a man” to straight guys. It’s a flexible model that is more balanced and less toxic. And it’s a model that the world desperately needs.
So what does this have to do with erotica? After all, I produce videos featuring gay and bisexual men having explicit sex for Himeros.tv. Well, sex is deeply affected by vulnerability – and, despite our tendency to avoid vulnerability, it can lead to improved connections and deeper intimacy. And that makes for hotter, better sex.
Today, I’m excited to release The Reveal featuring Adam Ramzi and Max Adonis. Written by sex coach Finn Deerhart, this is an erotic film unlike anything that I’ve ever seen – and it’s one of my favorites in the Himeros.tv collection.
Adam and Max demonstrate a powerful sex game that truly requires courage and strength. Starting on opposite sides of the room, the guys take turns sharing their insecurities. With each turn, the guys take a step closer. Finally, they meet in the middle – and you can imagine what happens next.
Alternatively, you can see what happens next. Check out this free preview of The Reveal. Himeros.tv members can watch the beautiful full length video.
So, the questions remain: Are you courageous enough to be vulnerable? Are you strong enough to be your true self? Are you powerful enough to redefine masculinity? And, perhaps most pertinent of all, are you ready to see all of that in the erotica you watch?
Through juicy erotic content, Davey Wavey created Himeros.tv for gay men to have hotter sex, to experience toe-curling pleasure and to fulfill their deepest desires. Learn more at Himeros.tv.