Today’s post is contributed by JoJo Bear of Metamorphic Embodiment.
Back in the day, men who were attracted to men had to find alternative ways to connect: parks, beaches, bathrooms and locker rooms. Are men still hooking up in the gym locker rooms? Yes, they are!
Just picture it… You just spent 90 minutes working out, releasing endorphins and getting sweaty. You finish up and step into the locker room, a place filled with testosterone and naked men. There is something arousing about this communal setting. It is difficult to not feel stimulated by the atmosphere of manliness.
Presently, with all the access to apps on our smart phones, men need not search far for a sexual connection. So, with all the sex clubs, bathhouses and gay bars shutting their doors because men have easier options to get laid, has the gym locker room gone astray? I would say no. I asked several men from ages 21 to 60, all of whom attend the gym on a regular basis, and the results I received were promising.
Men are still sexually mingling with each other in the locker rooms.
The feedback I collected was that there is still plenty of cruising going on, men are checking each other out while in stages of undress. “I can tell who is straight, they usually keep the towel on or dress really fast,” says Rob, a 32 year old gay male who lives in San Francisco, CA. “The men that are looking for something will take a little longer to show off or stare for longer periods of time,” he said.
“When I head over to the showers, I usually try to pick the farthest from the doorway, so I have to walk past all the stalls. None of them have doors at my gym, so I get to see each man. I’ll try to find one who stares at me and situate myself directly across from him,” said Jeff, 45, from Walnut Creek, CA. “I will know right away if this dude is looking for action. Most of the time we will give each other a show and jerk off for each other.” Jeff then revealed, “If it is early in the morning or later at night, I have actually walked over to the other stall with a full erection and we start getting it on! I suppose the thrill is that this is a place that we shouldn’t be doing this and we may get caught at any minute!”
Mark, 53, living in Oakland, said that at his gym he will dawdle a bit while at his locker and scan the room for someone who is staring back; he frequently will find a match. He said he will regularly go into the handicap stall and perform oral sex. He said that it’s much easier in the early mornings, the time he prefers the most. However, he said he even gave a blow job during the evening rush!
Recently, I had a man come in for a Somatic Sex Coaching session. He mentioned to me that he was feeling uneasy about all his activities at the gym (which did not include being on the elliptical machine).
He brought up the fact that he was jacking off in the shower while other men were watching. Also mentioning that, sometimes, other men will have orgasms with him. He was feeling some shame around that behavior because of all the recent publicity about men being called out for exposing themselves.
I invited him to examine all of this. Most of the men he was stroking in front of were doing the same in return; it was consensual. He mentioned there was never any physical contact with other men, he just really gets aroused by masturbating with other men in a public place, like a shower in the gym. He said that he only will do it with men who are responsive, if men do not look interested he will not even try to do it. He loves the feeling of being viewed and masturbating in a place that is brimming with masculinity.
I suggested that even though there may be some consequences to his actions, someone might freak out or he may lose his gym membership. However, if it is something that turns him on, why shouldn’t he do it? We currently live in a climate where sex is being vehemently demonized. I was not giving him permission to act a fool, I was just suggesting he enjoy his body and his sexuality. I mentioned that there are places like the gay bathhouses or sex clubs, that are designed for acting out these fantasies. But he enjoys his amusement at the gym showers!
Jake, a 21 year old student at UC Berkeley, said that at the end of the day after classes he hits the gym. He lives with 4 other students in a 2 bedroom. His alternative to quietly masturbating in his shared bedroom is going to the gym and checking out the other men. Jake mentioned that he really loves the evening crowd of men at the gym. “They are pumped up and horny,” he says. “I never leave the locker room without busting a nut, whether it is in the shower or bathroom stall, alone or with company, it is going to happen!”
I suppose it is safe to say that sex is still happening in the locker room. Next time you finish with that spin class take a jaunt over to the locker room and see what new adventure awaits you!